#but then i would definitely fail cause not being there is basically saying “i didnt do anything” when i ABSOLUTELY DID

[sprinklethetangerine]

SHIT SHIT SHIT I ACTUALLLY SLEPT NOOOO IM FUCKED IM SO FUCKED IM DEFINITELY FAILING I HATE THIS AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[themoodyestj]

Hello, my beloved.

today i bring you a list of stuff you can try to not be so bitter and miserable all the time.

1. breath slowly, in and out, relax.

2. take a nap

3. eat a cookie

4. listen to some music

5. touch some grass

6. get laid ( if no one wants you, hands and a picture of Dee are valid too!)

7. hug your pet ( or a cactus if you don't have a pet)

8. practice acceptance (Dee is the Queen and you're never going to be her and Jensen is never going to fuck you)

9. find someone you actually like and admire, and fan over that person (not some guy you think is a mediocre actor and a pushover who can't stand for himself and needs idiots from the internet to defend him from his wife)

10. remember that i love you, and this is not hate, just constructive criticism because i want you to be better.

❤️ your secret admirer

Awww, my secret admirer again. :D Does that mean I'm getting flowers everyday now? So happy to see you, honey. Thanks for all the advice, I take them to heart. Although, sadly, I have to say I'm not as bitter or as miserable as you may want me to be. I do have a family, two cats and a dog, and a career. I do get laid quite often and im a fierce advocate of lone intimacy. Super healthy, I do it all. But also, I have an opinion. One that ruffles many many feathers, but in case you didnt notice, I don't quite care. But hey, if it feeds your delusion that all people who disagree with you are sad and lonely, by all means, stick to it. We dont want you having a psychotic breakdown, do we? Lets try to avoid that at all costs. I gotta say, number 8 sent me. We don't all have the same aspirations in life. Perhaps you'd like to sleep with Jensen (cause honey, the projection is strong here) and you use Dee as a heavy self insert, but I honestly dont want to. It is perfectly ok to like someone (and at the same time critique someone) and not want to sleep with them. I know, mindblowing, right? Such a complex concept, Im sure you find it hard to grasp. But just because its hard for you to understand, it doesnt make it less real. I bet a lot is really hard for you to understand, so...

Danneel being a queen? Of what exactly? Honey, I don't want to be her, I wanna be me. Should i aspire to be someone, it would be a woman who in fact has a flourishing career, and not someone whose assets are basically marrying someone. I'd aspire to be someone with talent, inteligence, gumption. Not someone who still rides on the small parts she played in the past because she knows there isnt much really going on for her. Someone who overpriced her pictures at Wales Con expecting to have a great reception only to find a very small line for her and feeling desperate enough to take pics with her kids insteadto feel relevant. You know, Id actually be less critic of her if she was more honest about herself. If she wasnt so fast to take jabs at her own husband when she herself has very little to offer. But hey, if thats your Queen... By all means. She definitely isnt mine. I dont think Jensen is mediocre. I think he let himself go a little. I think he was happier in SPN days and I miss that light, to be honest. Maybe ill see him improve in his next projects and ill be the first to applaud him for that (and ill post about it too, so stay tuned). As of lately... Ive seen a man who plans a concert with no AC, struggling to sing, I see a man who's tense next to his wife, I see a man who seems to be self medicating to cope and that worries me. I do hope he improves, I wish him no harm. But of course this doesnt help your delulu, so i know your brain will totally ommit what i just wrote. Ok, this is all the attention youre getting now. Im starting to think you do actually love me, cause this was fun! You delulus never fail in giving me a good hearted laugh! See you soon, secret admirer!

[rainbowpui]

"SJ abused many talented disciples"

But it wasn't mentioned anywhere other than SY's chapters and I dont trust SY's pov on SJ especially not when he thought that SJ SA-ed NYY,SJ was in love with QHT, killed LQG and helped LBH to kill YQY.

LITERALLY SY is an unreliable narrator. he THINKS he knows everything about PIDW but most of what he thought at the beginning of the novel gets disproved. its... literally an important plot point that SY makes problems for himself bc hes too hung up on what he THINKS he knows about the characters. But like..... 99% of this is shown to be wrong....

in fact... realizing that almost everything he thought about sj is wrong.... is part of what makes him realize that what he has been thinking about LBH has been wrong too. why would we have to take his word from the START OF THE NOVEL about that when he discover he was wrong about everything else?

when sy wakes up all of sj's disciples were crowded around him worried and wanting for their shizun to wake up (except lbh). that.. doesnt exactly make me feel like they all hate him.

sy claims that sj was a lecher who lusted after his students..... but when we actually see sj's pov it turns out he isnt going to the brothels for sex but because thats the only place he can feel comfortable away from men bc of his trauma. we know its canon that he cares for nyy bc sy literally uses sj's care for her as a way to get around ooc and help lbh, but theres literally nothing to imply his affection is sexual in nature. sj saves qht and drags her away from the fire bc he feels indebted to her for being his only escape from the abuse by the other members of her household, not bc hes in love with her. even when saving her puts him in danger bc thats a loose end that can and does come back to bite him. tbh i cant say its canon that hes gay.... but he certainly doesnt seem to show any interest in women and gives "all of his loyalty" to another man and waits for him like a maiden waiting for her lover to return lol

we learn in the sqh extras that not only did sj not kill lqg in the caves but he tried to save him and just failed that time. we literally SEE sj save lqg on the mission with sqh and then get embarrassed and not even ask for credit for it.

sy blames sj for "killing yqy" but when we see the 79 extras.... he literally tries to push him away and tells him to leave when hes captured so that yqy stays safe and literally mentions that when he was FORCED BY LBH to write the letter he tried to make it obvious that its a trap. why is sj being blamed for lbh killing yqy just to hurt him???? sy CLAIMS to know everything about PIDW but literally the point mxtx is making by showing that sy is wrong about everything about sj.... is that maybe he doesnt know as much as he thinks... he thinks that lbh was the cause of the jinlani city plague as well and THAT is wrong too. (it was actually..... sy's fault. for releasing zzl.. OOPS.)

I dont care if he THOUGHT sj was like that at the start of the novel. hes not actually a reliable source!! esp at the start sj definitely DID abuse lbh. i dont think most sj stans will deny that or pretend that what he did was right. but.... we dont actually see him treat any other disciples poorly. if anything sy is the one making everyone else run laps and teaching them nothing to the point that sqh mentions that the disciples turn from "scholars" into "adhd children".... sy HIMSELF admits that its a good thing sj taught his students enough that they can basically run the sect on their own so that he can be lazy and do nothing and delegate to everyone else. i imagine that he might have been a bit strict as a teacher to the other students but thats not the same as abusing all of them. its literally just lbh he had an issue with

sometimes i feel like ppl didnt even read the same book when they take everything sy says at face value. hes a flawed character who is forced to rethink all the things he thought about BOTH sj AND lbh after witnessing sj's backstory makes him realize..... he cant actually assume he knows everything about these characters just bc he read PIDW. SQH himself admits that the sv universe is based on his rough draft, NOT on the dumbed down version that he was forced to write for the $$$ that sy ended up reading

somehow ppl can admit that sy was wrong about other characters but not about sj even when we see him proven wrong on screen??? its really strange... sj did SOME things wrong but not 99% of the shit ppl accuse him of

[malzykins]

GIVES US THE VOID HAND FREAKS LORE!!! (You dont have to if you dont want to)

OH BOY. well with a nice little request like that how can i say no 😇 

HUGE preface that this is very AU-heavy because. like I got no beef with the actual canon but I just want to play around with my favourite characters like little dollies if that is okay. :]

To even get to the freaks though we do have to start at the beginning of this for it all to make even a lick of sense and to me anyway it feels like a lot.. warning not one centimeter of this is without some form of mental degradation and shameless self-indulgence (<- failing to cope with the lasting effects of cringe culture)

absolutely MASSIVE text post belo im dead serious:

Nothing much really differs from the origin of the Operator/Drifter themselves, all the Zariman shit still happens etc. Operator was kind of a bastard child (shes 12 most of them are, but i digress LOL), very much the kinda person to stick their nose in everyone’s business and try to “fix” all their problems if she thought something could be gained from it (sound familiar?), be it a compensation from the people themselves or from her seniors getting basically surface-level information about it all and being like aww what a good kid!! and gassing her up with all this praise. Most other kids definitely knew what she was doing, or at least didnt like her or the vibe she put off, but it didnt really stop her cause that’s not whose opinion she necessarily cared about the most.

When the Zariman incident happened, her ENTIRE support group became her enemy and she was left with nothing. She got her just desserts alright and it broke her, like really broke her, like watching a spoiled brat finally get what’s coming to em and she genuinely did like a total heel-turn in terms of personality temperament etc. She became a lottt more prone to acting childish and favoured emotional outbursts over rational thinking, since she didnt have her people that she looked up to anymore, she didnt have her Glue so to speak. She went from main character syndrome to acting how a 12 year old would probably realistically act in a fr life-or-death scenario overnight

Being a child in a traumatizing situation she latched onto really anything she could get. any distraction. desperately wanting something or someone to trust. so when that damnable doppelganger shows its face, behaving exactly how she used to behave towards other kids (not that she had the self-awareness to deduce that at the time), she instantly ate from the hand that feeds. And there was that :)

Nothing strays from canon between this point and the First Dream. Shes still very much a petulant crybaby and kind of sucks at being a Tenno but thats neither here nor there,, in the Dream, though, is when things start to REALLY deviate.

During the years of war and strife and child-soldier-ism with everyone else, she had a lot of time to think. Shes well aware that all this void power shit wasnt possible before their time on the Zariman, and as far as she was aware she was pretty certain that didnt change the moment they boarded. Over time she fights the memory suppression of her traumas to dig up answers and narrows it right down to that moment she shook hands with herself, something clearly odd and nonsensical, now viewing it with a bit more clarity of mind and basically coming to the epiphany of Oh You Motherfucker. theres no way it was not you. theres no way ALL OF THIS (the existence of the tenno and by extension their eventual drafting into the war, and all of the bullshit that follows that) was not because of you. And when they get told that theyre all going to be put into a cryosleep, because theyre more trouble than theyre worth, really, to just to give everyone around them more peace of mind well. shes quite upset about it. She and other kids definitely try to fight their way out of it (they dont make it far) and rest assured theres no shortness of bawling and sobbing, but deep in there there is anger. She starts to get real pissed off about this whole ordeal and honestly just fucking everything that has lead to it, that piece of her old self that had the capacity for rage and ambition bubbling through the surface.

When she was placed into the First Dream, that quickly manifested well outside of her control. She herself was entirely lacking in conscience, but that essence of herself that existed just beyond her own grasp, that metaphorical spirit that whatever youd want to call it, began to fester in some crevice deep in the Void, not having truly left the place after the events of the Zariman unfolded. It festered and festered and grew until every horrible negative emotion that she Could Not experience in her current state snapped free and went on a violent witch hunt for exactly who the hell made her this way and WHEN she found It, that manifestation didnt relent in the slightest as it quite literally beat the absolute ever-loving dogshit out of the Indifference and (taking some of the various Murmur codex entries very literally) lashed its very flesh apart like a goddamn. kindergarten art project.

Once all of her anger was spent and she realized that didnt actually fix any of her problems, and the bastard was busy reeling for a while because, what in the fuck was all that about, she was left just a lonely, sad empty husk. And because of the Void’s receptivity with negative emotion, it did something with that, taking those lacerated fragments and turning them into something greater, turning them into companions to fill that lonely gap, into the Murmur. they are very No Thoughts creatures and dont understand what existence really is, and like most freshly borned creatures they imprint on the first thing they see (the Indifference) though they know at least the smell of who ultimately made them and are constantly chasing that trail to find the source (hence their appearance in reality in the albrecht labs because we dont really Know in canon what theyre looking for in there exactly (afaik) so I’m justttt rewriting that. for me 😇)

Once they inevitably have their cool reunion or whatever (which takes place a lot sooner than the normal story progression, I just am not sure on where to put a pin) Operator latches onto them just as much as they latch onto her, their Maker, and she ends up neglecting a lot of her responsibilities to just run and play with the little freaks all day ^-^ which really pisses off the Drifter. and makes HER take up the Operator’s mantle, a good chunk of the normal questline being done by her instead.

NOW. for what you ACTUALLY asked for. Im so sorry 😭

THESE three bastards: Prodah, Nahkip, Vedah, in that order. In this little AU thing, Murmur fragments have this little bit of individuality to them in the form of those lighter blue stripes or “veins”, which are more like indentations in their skin that faintly glow with their Void energy. The more a fragment has or the more unique they are, the more respected the individual is in a sort of innate social hierarchy system. If a fragment is born with no veins whatsoever, if they are unmarred and “perfect” so to speak, they are essentially bullied and outcasted to some unloved corner of the Great Indifference to wallow alone, and for a faction all about unity and working together that isnt very nice. :)

Vedah and Nahkip are the two I probably have the least juice for. Not that I dont like them (far from it) I just have yet to reeeeally get to them ;; I at LEAST have personalities and such down

Vedah is like a curious naive little dog. It’s very erratic and jumpy and is more often a follower than a leader. It loves games but gets bored easily, and loves trying to make friends. It definitely makes the most racket out of the three, big chatterbox this one (I love the sounds the fragments make... they are such screechy little creatures it's soooo cute)

Nahkip is probably the most “normal” out of them. It doesn’t vocalize often and carries itself in a bit of a high regard (not necessarily in a conceited way, moreso it is aware that it is of a somewhat higher caliber than most and incidentally behaves as such). It’ll politely listen to others and offer input when it’s spoken to, but once all is said and done, it returns to pretending you don’t exist, going about its own business.

Prodah, the last fellow, is (was?) one of those unfortunate veinless souls. It often found itself a victim of many fights, and it quickly learned that trying to defend itself only made matters substantially worse. In one particularly nasty scenario, its ring and pinky finger were completely snapped off by an attacker and ground to dust. It tried to fight its way out of exile often, but eventually succumbed to the hand it’d been dealt, fleeing to some unaccompanied outcropping overlooking the Void.

Vedah found it, eventually, having sniffed it out and tracked it from where it hid buried in the sand for god knows. Prodah of course, very angry and scared and traumatized all at once, didnt take too kindly to the ordeal, but Vedah’s “people skills” and a rare instance of patience helped bring the guy just enough out of its shell to at least stop regressing into fight-or-flight everytime it (Vedah) moved :] Still VERY skittery and non-trusting. just a bit more… tolerable.

Vedah and Nahkip are friends. or. at least Vedah sees it that way. Nahkip tolerates it but could really give or take. Vedah always wants to show around its new friends to its current friends, and Prodah is not an exception even if it really should be (hence the naivety; you can’t “look guys it’s cool dont be mean okay :D” your way out of everything girl)

LUCKILY Nahkip seems to not gaf. At least not in a bad way. No it actually definitely gaf because it’s been ages since it’s last seen a veinless fragment still kicking around (esp since there is essentially no reproduction of these creatures, whatever exists is all that will ever be (unless MITW feels like getting flayed again. for some reason) so once you’re killed or whatever it’s gg) and is very surprised that one is still alive, figured over time it should have just gone feral and torn itself apart from insanity or decomposed on its own, but it didn’t. and Nahkip is a bit of a studious fellow. so it is very interested in this creature.

There isn’t too much coherent lore after this.. lots of bits and bobs and meat and potatoes but not the most fleshed-out explanation for it all? At some point the three become close enough with one another (maybe more spiritually than anything, cause it likely isn’t so apparent from an outside perspective) that they form a Severed Warden like some sort of Digimon evolution or whatever 😇 There is some large gap of time where the Operator does not see them, the entire Prodah arc happening under her nose so when she next greets them they are together as the Warden and shes so proud of em ;; she doesnt really understand how it happened/works but she knows Vedah and Nahkip are in there and they do their best to introduce Prodah to her. After some coaxing it uncurls itself to meet her and she's absolutely appalled to see a friend in such a sorry state (being a Warden didn’t heal old scars), and figured that wasn’t any way for someone to live. so she removes her gloves and gently holds its hand in her own Void-corrupted ones (that I’m sure most Operators have anyway; shes extremely self-conscious about people seeing them but the Murmur are similar to her, in a way, so with them she relents) to offer that connection and comfort with it. In the same motion, some transfer of power takes place and after a brief moment, Prodah finds itself whole again with two new fingers to replace its lost ones, brimming with the light of Void energy. IN TURN, though, not such is without consequence, the Operator now missing those exact same digits that Prodah initially lacked. She quite literally gave it her own (which is why its lighter-colored fingers in the image do not have the standard issue Murmur claws. also this throws the Indifference for a loop because ??? bastard child I gave you that for YOU. not for you to just give handouts to thralls 😐). This is a complete heel turn for Prodah because while it was initially a perfect, veinless creature and demonized to all hell and back.. to receive marks from the Maker itself??? WILDLY different story. Okay we respect you now. like a lot. like A LOT a lot.

I absolutely had plans to include The Fragmented One in my little repertoire of creatures as well :3c For this I’m going to pull directly from my brief lore document instead of just reiterating what is perfectly fine to copy-paste instead, if no one minds:

“To make an example for the Operator, the Drifter assists Loid in secret in purging the Laboratories of Murmur presence, but ends up slaying the Warden of Vedah, Nahkip, and Prodah in the process. The Operator’s heartrending grief at their passing draws uneasiness from the Indifference itself, and her dormant, volatile energy involuntarily wrenches forth their fragments from the afterlife, as if they had never perished at all (this is unknown to her; her döppelganger is the one to impart this information, yet not knowledge of their whereabouts). She dedicates restless hours to searching for them, neglecting her own health, too nerve-wracked to properly eat or sleep. It is after a week’s passing that the Operator discovers an odd formation within The Great Indifference and, upon touching its surface, the structure breathes in new life, lost fragments rising from beneath the sand to create the One. Upon spotting Vedah, Nahkip, and Prodah atop the bow of the amalgamation, she becomes overjoyed at their revivification, triggering a transference of power between them; the Operator’s Void energy unknowingly begins to bleed over into the One, a deadly power donation creating an impossibly cataclysmic entity with capabilities yet to be measured. In anointment, the Operator honorably dubs the creature Fronrein—’tandem roar’—and it is forever at her beck and call.”

this Fragmented One is no stronger than the one you face normally. I just wanted to squeeze in something for my lore that could possibly explain why that fucker is SO god damn brutal in Steel Path.

Lastly (thank Christ right), something I haven’t yet fully fleshed out is that I want to pull the consciousness of the main fragments into the Operator’s warframes. Likely happened at some point during Fronrein’s birth. it’d be neat for these friends to exist in two places at once :) seems totally feasible to me given how freaky the Void gets. Vedah inhabits her Wisp, Nahkip her Protea, and Prodah her Harrow. None of this is planned, it just sort of Happens. the fourth arm of the One also gets dragged into this (dont have much for it. similar mannerisms to Nahkip I know at least), being placed into the Drifter’s Chroma, and she is NOT happy about it. very peeved actually. She hates these fucking things and to now have them basically be sentient frames walking and (telepathically) talking around the ship MUST be some sort of cruel divine punishment. She mellows out though, after some grueling amount of time, becoming a bit more platonic with her Chroma after slowly letting her own defenses down and just bonding and talking with the guy (now that these Murmurs can actually do that), but still is a bit standoffish with the Operator’s frames.

Operator thinks it’s cool as all hell. She’s brainstorming what all frames she could possibly get next and then try to shove Murmurs into those ones too. MUCH to the Drifter’s chagrin. god help them.

ANYWAY. I dont want to beta read this again I just hope it makes sense. Above all I hope it satisfies your ask ;; this is nearing 3,000 on the word count and actually took multiple days to write LOL /// thank you for giving me the opportunity to spill about these guys :’]

[quietgamelover]

In a bad mood tonight so figured I would try and be a little positive so here are some of my favorite power rangers villains ever (these are the ones i remember off the top of my head cause i liked em that much, also yes its from least fav to best)

5. Vrak

Honestly even though his seasons weren’t the best Vrak was definitely a highlight. He was the best villain in Megaforce hands down and even though his Super Megaforce appearance was a bit off it was still fun

4. Koragg

A great villain for a great season. He was always fun to see fight, he just didnt care about his side winning at all he just wanted to fuck shit up and I love him for it. Also his magic and fighting style were very cool

3. Jarrod/Camille

The only straight couple I respect I stg. They were both incredible, had their own story outside of ranger stuff, and actually had redemption arcs that felt justified and well paced. Pretty top tier villains. (Camille was also just a bad bitch the whole season so)

2. Psycho Rangers

Child me lost his shit when these dudes showed up. They were the coolest villains in any show I’d seen at the time. Still one of the best power ranger villains ever, not to mention they were so rad subsequent seasons tried to recreate the magic and failed horribly cause you cant out do the psychos.

1. Zen-Aku

Okay I’m being very real when I say this, Wild Force would be at the bottom of my tier list if this man was not CARRYING it on his back. This bitch had SO MUCH SWAG. He played his own theme music, he won basically every fight unless his enemies nerfed him, and he the way he stole zords and cursed them? Mmmmm perfection, no complaints, im sorry no villain will ever top this mf.

[thehandwixard]

all your tim drake posting lately reminded me of a line from a review of 90s/2000s batman i read a long time ago. "tim drake is the only time batman needed robin more than robin needed batman". do you agree with that take, or have any nuance to add to it?

oh i absolutely agree with that take, though im not sure robin.. ever needed batman more than batman needed robin? i think they definitely needed eachother equally, but tim is an.. hes a case

i was gonna say a lot about the robin mythos i havent quite synthesized yet but ill send a couple pages with commentary instead

A Lonely Place of Dying

the thing about tim is that he becomes robin with shit to lose, unlike known orphans dick and jason who are literally dependant on bruce legally (ward and adopted son) and he isn't really.. bruce's problem cause of this but tim knows that batman needs him. i do generally see tim as being cognizant of the metatextual in some way but the important thing is is that he has been having knight terrors and visions of batman and dick grayson his entire life and knows everything about them. he didnt even initially want to be robin, he basically has no stake in this venture but steps in anyways because he does emotionally. he knows bruce will die of 30 gunshot wounds because of the grief over his lost son was making him not think about what was happening. bruce has an obsession with family the same he does with (gestures vaguely) and even if tim is plainly saying like. im not your surrogate son i will be this symbol though it. well. fate has a funny trick in place for him (mother is killed and father is indefinitely hospitalized)

its why he and alfred click so instantly and so well tbh, they both have this role of being definitely *dependant* on batman to exist and emotionally in the way batman can even be.. indirect emotional support. spiritual support? but they know he relies on them deeply to keep going at any rate.

i think tim feels he owes batman and robin, hes deathly afraid to disappoint bruce to the point that in life or death situations hes afraid not of his own demise but of disappointing him. like.. he knows bruce would probably blame himself deeply if tim died 'under his watch' and treats that as failing him. which is.. a LOT but very different than just dependancy

but batman and robin always needed eachother, and thats gonna happen to tim the hard way eventually

and obvi this isnt even getting into the robins post-tim which are

steph: not a son figure to bruce

damian: actual son

we are robin: a youth movement that were deliberately defined by batman's absence

not to mention that bruce starts getting a lot more people to pick up the slack over time and keep him in line because he cares about keeping himself safe for all their sakes. and also his awesome daughter cass

[lilyfreshwater]

i just want somewhere to rant really quick as i watched 500 days of summer with a friend and halfway i remembered ranboo watching this and i really wish i didnt remember cause then i had ranboo goggles on the rest of the film (where im assuming he out himself in tom and tubbo as summer) i forgot when he watched it but in my head at the time i was PRETTY sure he and tubbo had ended things. But watching it and remembering ranboo's little semi-passicve aggressive review its a bit funny to me.

im gonna spoil things i guess so stop reading now if you dont want that. but basically (atleast in my opinion) you couldnt really pin the blame of their failed relationship on a singular person, you realise tom hadn't really been inl ove with summer he had just liked the version of her in the fantasy he made in his head, he just fell in love with the idea of her and throughout the movie he doesnt listen to her needs, and at the end of the day doesnt truly know her because he had made up a different version of her. Summer on the other hand should had DEFINITELY not have stayed as long as she did, she was dismissive about a serious relationship in the first place and, she struggles with being straightforward and treated him badly causing a strain, you can even say she was leading him on (which i disagree but yknow)

as a viewer, you fall in love with their first interactions, like its straight out of a fairytale, the movie is mainly through tom so you'd villainise her, but they were two people who werent meant for eachother. its also quite telling as summer gets engaged to someone two months later (lol parallels), despite this all your a bit devested they didnt end up together but when you look at the inbetweens they were both imperfect and flawed

damn ur right that pretty much is textbook beeduo. and it also makes sense that ranboo would like the movie because he aligns closely from tom, so he probably felt vindicated watching it

[what-if-nct]

why does everyone hate maths so much? it’s english that is being an absolute bitch. no matter how many times i stay passionate for my work, i would always end up failing in some way or form. they say that you can never be wrong in english, but i literally have to do the gcse for the THIRD FUCKING TIME.

it’s literally a definition of a friend that you would give so much love and time to, just for it to blow up in your face and make you a failure of a human being. It’s literally the worst lesson in college and i’m so desperate to pass already so i can stop going to early english classes whilst my computer science lessons would be in the afternoon.

fuck you english. 🖕

I think the fact that English is such a broad subject and really up for interpretation is what makes it so hard cause you kind of have to guess what the teacher actually wants from you. Like other than the things that are facts you kind of also have to be a bit of a psychic to determine what will actually pass or fail. I really think they should either give exact guidelines on what they want I mean to the smallest detail cause they do grade on the smallest damn detail or truly be open to the interpretation of the students.

English as well as Creative Writing were my favorite classes, well creative writing more so English has potential, I actually wished English was harder cause my teachers were like cool young teachers who catered to the kids who weren't as advanced as others in the class. So we'd have to read like the hunger games and stories about gangs and stuff and like I wanted to learn Shakespeare, learn more about Plato, and the basic English books like to kill a mocking bird and the catcher and the rye. The teachers wouldn't even entertain my asking to watch Pride and the prejudice on movie days, not even Anne of Green Gables was acceptable and that's like 7th grade.

And Greek Mythology but they said the history teacher was suppose to teach us that then the history teacher said the english teachers are suppose to teach us that. Who is it? I want to learn greek mythology. The history teachers didnt even teach us about the salem witch trials, I already knew all about it but I wanted to take tests on it. Had to learn everything by myself I had lunch in the library. By lunch I mean I ate quickly then went to the library till the bell rang. Lizzie Mcguire, Boys Meet World, Sabrina The Teenage Witch and Saved By The Bell all lied about high school. I even took drama to learn about and perform Shakespeare, all we did was watch whose line is it anyway everyday.

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Improvement, Realization & Self Destruction

I actually talked about this a lot, especially in here before but anyway, here we go.

First, i am gonna start with this one.

I think Fruits Basket another is bad. Because characters are not their own characters, they are meant to be mirror of their parents. They literally have same faces (worst ones aree Rin and Haru's chilren cause even though Rin and Haru are couple, their same version is siblings which is weird). Honestly, noone really care about their children, readers care about actual characters of Fruits Basket. Yes, its good to see their children being happy and all but even that, its for actual characters.

Not only we dont see the characters we actually want to see and story seems like an extra version of original one. Main character just like Tohru, zodiac children are just like zodiac members, except main male character is Akito's son so we kinda see AkiTohru couple in a way, straight version : )) because author wouldnt do GL, i guess.

And curse was supposed to end in Fruits Basket's ending but we still see cycle continues with Akito and her son. Even Kyo (his son said). They are still doing that banquet thing every year which is too unnecessary. And Sohma people dont seem to change at all.

Now, i actually think same about Fruits Basket's ending and Fruits Basket Another. There are so many issues with this series but now lets look at Akito and how she dealt with cycle of abuse in Furuba Another;

Only good part of Fruits Basket another is we can see how much Akito shows remorse, she literally shows every sign of someone who feels guilty for her actions.

- Accepting that she did something wrong;

She mentions openly admits that she hurted Kureno and zodiac

- Apologising or feeling too sorry to apologise

We see Akito's saying sorry to Kureno at hospital and later, when she mets with zodiac, she cant even look at their faces, feeling awkward with them

- Making sure that same things never happen again;

She doesnt only break Kyo free, she also destroy cat house at the end of Fruits Basket so noone will ever have to experience this. She also breaks the curse by her own hands, letting them go which is very brave behavour, especially for someone who have a fear of abandonment.

And here in Furuba Another;

- We see that she respect zodiac's boundaries, whenever they come to the place, she left so that they wont feel uncomfortable by her presence. Believe or not, you will hardly ever see anyone do this. Because many abusers, many OLD abusers, even they change, they wont pay attention to those details. They wont think or care how much people they hurted might be triggered by their existence. But the fact that Akito (EVEN AFTER 20 YEARS) still think about their well beings, the possibility of they might feel upset about her presence even though she desperately wanted to join banquest all this time....its just shows how much Akito cares, its definitely sign of someone who changed.

- We also see how comfortable and peacefull zodiac's children about head of family Akito. You can see that Akito is respected, not feared, by even children. If Akito was violent or toxic in any way, children would feel uncomfortable about her but no, they dont because Akito is far away from being toxic and violent. She is an adult whom even children can rely one, they respect.

- We also see that she became a very good mother, even though she didnt have a good mother at all. You can say that she is her son's hero in a way. Look at how much boy is fond of her. Because his mother is kind and lovely person.

- And again, the fact that zodiac members or even their children come here in a while shows that this place is better than before. Because Akito changed this. She tries to change the system, breaking the cycle of abuse.

Basically, Akito clearly feel remorse for her past actions and she takes responsiblity and she changes things for better.

But at the same time, she kinda fails because she might have self realization of that she hurted people but exacly because of this, Akito unable to see herself as good person or someone who deserves to be happy anymore. Lack of self love, lack of self worth, you can see it in her actions.

Basically, Akito didnt change really. Yes, she doesnt hurt others anymore, instead, she hurts herself : )))).

- At least, she would defend herself at past, now she doesnt. She could've fight against Ren, if she wanted but she doesnt and instead, she let her abusive mother stab her in front of her son and says 'i deserve this'. whic his pretty much suicidal and self destructive behavour.

Cycle of abuse happen with the idea of 'someone deserves to get hurted'. People who have black and white worldview would see what happens to Akito as 'punishment' or 'karma', even though, this just abuse and this is what we call justifying abuse. Akito is justifying the abuse she endured because she is unable to see herself as good person.

This is exactly the reason why Akgure happenned. 'We deserves each other'. We both toxic, we both bad so we should be together'. This kind of mindset literally destroy the idea of change.

No wonder Akito left the Kureno whom she thought as good and turn back to toxicrelationship as ‘punishment’ in a way. Lol, i dont care what anyone ever say but her feelings for Kureno seems to be more similar to love than she ever felt for anyone. It pure feeling. The way she talked about him is also similar to the way Kyo talked about Tohru : )). I dont ship Kureno x Akito but i am saying that its thousand times better than her ending because they both realized things because they BOTH HAD MISTAKES IN THIS RELATIONSHIP and could work on it but autor said no. Maybe because ‘Kureno is good guy, Akito is bad girl’ so Akito doesnt deserve him? Haha LOL. This is what happens when yo unever adress your ‘good character’s flaws.

As if Akito cant ever change, no matter how good she become, she will still be bad because....ummm.... oh yeah...thats what this society says. Instead of adressing the problems of this toxic relationship or any problem, Akito takes all blame of everything.

Because of this, every other character literally gets away with everything. All those people who are part of system, who groomed Akito since her young age, people who abuse her and zodiac members, they all harass Akito and noone do anything about it.

We also could see Akito’s working hard in orginal story too. She didnt need to be mother realy, we could see her getting along with children at the end of Fuits basket. Her breaking the curse and destroying the cat house was one of the powerfull things Akito ever did in this story. We could her feeling guilty in a thousand ways possible, we could see her change more, if author didnt rushed the ending. Basically fruits basket another was unnecessary and sucks.

Akito's character arc was supposed to be about her finally breaking free from her father's legacy but she still live with legacy anyway. She continues to be head of family and never really having a life outside of it.

Akito's character arc was supposed to be about moving on and ending 'eternity' but she stays at that sohma hell and suffering, her son literally calls his mother suffering as eternity, that she will suffer forever, it will never end.

Akito's character arc was supposed to be about being her own person and meeting with new people and instead, she still goes back to toxic relationship with a guy who only loved her cause of some stupid dream, who abused her but never feel gilty about it, who groomed her, who literally calls her as CURSE for LOVING HER.(More details of why this relationship is horrible in here.)

Because? Because Akito is horrible and everything is her fault, lets not think any further? Like wth?

Yeah its cheap and weak writing. You may ask why people dont have empathy and why they cant accept her change.

Because people have black white world view, main character Tohru who is perfectly pure, never did anthing wrong and antagonist made mistakes so she will have to suffer forever for it.

In Fruits basket, good characters mistakes arent adressed because people and probably author, they think if we talk about someone's misakes of flaws, they afraid that we see them as bad guys for some reason.

*Sigh*

Being good person is not never making mistakes. Its adressing your flaws, your mistakes and changing it for good. Treating people who made mistakes as if they will be unpure and bad forever is literally same as saying 'there is no such a thign as change'. Its hyporacy. Because everyone make mistakes but many people view theirselves pure and good, this is why they relate to Tohru and other 'good' characters more, this is why some people wonder they are weird for liking Akito. After all, story rebelled her as bad because she did something wrong so she forever has to suffer for it.

Fruits Basket is old story, its full of traditional toxic thoughts and this is what author thinks too. Stor clearly portrays victims as good and bad. Some idolized victim. Main character is treated as naive, stupid for having empathy ??

For example, i am personally nowhere near as Tohru. I am not people-pleasure or perfect hero. I am just ordinay person but i still felt when Tohru said Akito looked so pure when she cried, it was hearthbreaking. I understood exactly what she meant. Me as DECENT PERSON. I felt that. Because having trauma and doing wrong things didnt erase the pureness Akito has. She is still that child who wanted to be loved. And if Akito was real and she asked me why i helped her, i would hug her and say 'of course, its ONLY NATURAL TO HELP SOMEONE WHO NEEDED HELP' Akito deserves that help cause she was victim. We dont need stories that idolising heroes, we need stories that normalising helping people. Having empathy is not weird, its humanity. This is normal.

This is exactly why she should've get out of that place, finding her own dreams and making healthy relationship. She deserves to be loved by someone who will love her as her own person. She is not monster or toxic bad girl. She is capable of being more than this. She is kind and someone who will accept her mistakes. She is kind of person who will take responsiblity.

I think author or many readers dont understand what change really means thats why they see Akito's ending as justice, 'she deserve this kind of relationship', in a way you all say she deserves to have bad treatment and suffering which is the mindset of making cycle of abuse continue. Because people dont see theirselves when they look at Akito, they see people who hurted them and they want them to suffer. After all, seing yourself as Akito would mean seeing your own reflections, your dark feelings, you would have to adress your own flaws so its easy to just treat her as bad guy.

The psychological effects of guilt can be beneficial when they inspire a person to make changes in their behavior. But at other times they can cause distress. Research has shown that guilt and depression are often linked, for example. Research also suggests that anxiety, as well as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), can be related to feelings of guilt or shame.

When a person can’t fix a mistake, guilt can persist until they have the chance to make amends. Guilt resulting from an action that can’t be repaired, such as when a person feels they indirectly caused another’s death, can have a lasting, negative impact on life. Therapy can often help a person address these emotions and reframe their feelings about what happened. (source)

People who did something wrong most of the times tend to hurt theirselves cause of all that remorse and we help them with therapy. They need to move on from past too after all, not just the people they hurted, dont need to mention that Akito was victim all along and its hardly ever adressed....ooof.

Unfortutanetly Fruits basket isnt a story that moved on from those toxic traditional beliefs. (Some criticism about story in here.) Akito was always a character who doesnt self worth or self love, she was also very self neglective. Only thing changed about her is she stopped being destructive, had some realization but just being more self destructive. She still doesnt have any self love and self worth, if she had one, she wouldnt justify actions of people who hurts her. My girl deserves better.

But anyway.

I gave Akito a better ending in here. She gets teraphy, she is happy.

Sohma Akito is well written character, actually there are many good and itneresting things about this series and characters but yknow, there are so many unadressed problems, so many toxic tropes and its full of traditional toxic belifes. So its a shame really. Yknow, if there is something worse than 'bad show', that is a show that had potential but wasted and thats how i view this story and everything about it too.

[i-am-lost-and-need-a-map]

COBRA KAI SPOILERS AND OPINIONS AHEAD!! I JUST NEED TO GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM!

This is for my baby Robby Keene! 🥺😭💕

I love LOVE seeing all the support for Robby Keene he’s my favorite character!

But I still see so many hate comments for Robby about he’s a jerk and aggressive and temperamental and awful during season 3 but like HE DIDNT GET THERE BY HIMSELF! IT TOOK WORK TO TURN HIM THAT WAY! And sure he made choices and I don’t think he’s a saintly Angel, he’s made mistakes and he hasn’t made it easy to get close to him (Gee I wonder why) but he’s not bad and there’s a reason why he’s like this.

Robby feels alone and abandoned, mostly because has been and currently is!

The hardest part about all this is that they are SOOOO close ALL the time! It would be so easy! Just love him! Care about him! Support him! Don’t treat him like he’s an inconvenience and don’t just care or support or love him when it’s convenient for you Daniel and Johnny! I mean EVEN SAM AND MOST DEFINITELY HIS MOTHER! Like I love all three of them to bits but ROBBY DIDN��T DO ANYTHING TO DESERVE THIS! He put in the work, the time, the energy, and he was an amazing student and son and boyfriend! But they don’t give him the time of day and they’re only there for him when it’s convenient for them and they do everything that’s “the best for him” but like was it ever?

Daniel could’ve taken five seconds to sit down and walk Robby through a plan but NO he decided that Robby turning himself in was best for Robby and he didn’t get a say in it AT ALL HE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON! And Daniel time and time again has tossed him out for being “no good” and then brought him back just to do the same thing AGAIN!

Johnny gave up on Robby and started fresh with Miguel because it was easier then working things out with his son! Johnny decided that it was a lost cause before he even tried! He only got involved when Miguel or Daniel was involved and I know he’s trying but he needs to just DO IT! He has to commit if he wants to have a relationship it’s not just whenever Johnny feels like it!

I mean even Sam! Robby and Sam weren’t even broken up when he went to jail and she was NEVER over Miguel when she was with Robby and she tried but he had no hope and she should’ve just talked it out with Miguel! Robby backed off the second he realized she had a boyfriend! He was honestly amazing in the relationship every step of the way through and Sam and Robby had their good moments but she was still not over Miguel and maybe even subconsciously just using Robby to get over Miguel just to move back to Miguel in a blink of an eye when he’s IN JAIL! He was willing to hear Sam out when he found her with Miguel! Maybe he was coming on a little strong I can see why Miguel got involved BUT HELL ID BE ANGRY TOO!

NOT ONE OF THEM CAME TO SEE HIM AT HIS LOWEST MOMENT IN JAIL! The Larusso’s called and messaged, did any of them visit? NO! Johnny planned on going, let Robby down AGAIN, and tried to make things right, then basically told Robby it was his fault that Miguel fell off the balcony and that he picked Miguel AGAIN! His mother didn’t try to visit, his father failed to visit, his teacher didn’t visit, his girlfriend didn’t visit. He had NO ONE! He was terrified and lost! He didn’t have anyone on his side who he could trust and feel safe with! No one came to visit him, no one stood up for him, no one asked what he wanted or felt, no one was on his side, no one welcomed him back or tried to prove to him that they were there for him (except when he was let out and even then Daniel and Johnny treated it like a competition and let Robby walk away and didn’t try after again after that!) There was NO ONE!

Kreese showed up and he went to Kreese afterwards because he had no where left to go! He tried to get along with everyone in Cobra Kai while he was there. He didn’t pick fights, he bantered, he helped with the snake (he put his bare hand in a cage with a snake and pulled that mf right out like a champ comin in clutch!) and he even was willing to leave and not over stay his welcome or give into his anger. He was guided the wrong way but he wanted to get on a better path and wanted to work on himself! He just didn’t know how, didn’t know where to go, and didn’t have any proper guidance except for Kreese who was the ONLY one to visits him and gave him helpful advice instead of patronizing him like Daniel or scolding and insulting him like Johnny.

Daniel didn’t try to bring him back to Miyagi Do he gave up after one failed conversation! Johnny didn’t try to comfort his son and guide him after a traumatic experience he gave up after one run in with Larusso!

And let’s not forget the fight that started Robby going to jail! Miguel could not have picked a WORSE TIME to be merciful!! I applaud him for being merciful but THERES A TIME AND A PLACE! Miguel and Sam kissed while her and Robby were still dating, Miguel told him that Sam loved him and not Robby and basically never did, and told him all his moves he learned from ROBBY’S DAD! They were in a physical fight and the aggression and testosterone was high! MIGUEL YOU COULDVE PICKED A BETTER TIME TO HAVE MERCY BEFORE VERBALLY SPITTING IN HIS FACE! Besides it wasn’t on purpose! Robby didn’t purposefully push him over the balcony! In fact he seemed just as surprised as everyone else was! He acted on instinct and impulse to get away an attacker. He ran away because he was afraid and didn’t know what to do! Watching the scene when he was talking to Daniel he genuinely felt TERRIBLE and was beating himself up over it! He didn’t do it on purpose and he was drowning in grief and guilt.

Im not saying that Robby had it the hardest because he should take responsibility for his actions and was completely in the wrong on attacking Miguel and causing him to fall off the railing. I don’t think Robby should’ve run and I think he should’ve approached it all differently but HE DIDNT ACTIVELY TRY AND SHOVE MIGUEL OVER THE BALCONY! ITS NOT COMPLETELY HIS FAULT and the fact that Tory started the fight and she got let off easier is not fair!

He tried to stop it! In the beginning Robby actively tells everyone to settle down and tries to defuse the situation but it naturally continues to scale out of control! But Robby never actively wanted to kill or put Miguel in the hospital! He didn’t throw him off the balcony or pull a Mufasa and Scar “long live the king” moment! He didn’t realize that Miguel was even showing mercy, he just saw this as a chance to get away and get even in a dangerous place! Miguel could’ve easily broken Robby’s arm and Robby knew that and after the tournament of course he isn’t going to trust Miguel! Especially all of the actions and words Miguel used during the fight. How could Robby have known that Miguel was going to stop fighting or show mercy!

I want Miguel and Robby to talk it out and come to a good place! I want Sam to explain things to Robby so they can also be in a good place! I plead that Johnny and Daniel will please PLEASE give Robby the care and support that he NEEDS! I just want them to realize the position Robby is in and realize the hand they had in it! AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY FIX WHAT THEY BROKE INSTEAD OF MOVING ON OR PRETENDING ITS NOT THERE!

I’m not saying Miguel or Sam or Johnny or Daniel are bad or villains. I love them all to the moon and back! but I am saying that if people are going to hate on Robby then they should also consider the not so chivalrous and good nature of the other characters and also consider why he’s like that. I’m not saying no one can hate him and there’s not only one way to think about it. I’m just sharing my opinion, it’s not right or wrong it’s just there.

I know that Terry Silver is going to do EXACTLY what he did to Daniel if not worse! And it’s going to be DEVASTATING to watch! I just hope and pray and wish and dream that someone ANYONE is there to catch him when it all comes crashing down the Terry Silver and John Kreese way! Because Robby doesn’t have a Mr Miyagi and he needs a Mr Miyagi right about now!

Thank you for listening to my Ted talk and I hope you have a wonderful day!

"I don't think anyone can grow unless he's loved exactly as he is now, appreciated for what he is rather than what he will be."

— Fred Rogers

[kjosi]

God, the first episode of season 9 just hits in so many ways.... it’s so damn complicated , there is soo much going on it is definitely one of my favorite episodes cause everything is just balanced so well on a giant scale of fucked up, and characters being forced into corners, literally Sam was still ready to die even after he decided against dying to close the gates of Hell, and key words are the “Don’t bring me back so that no one else can get hurt” literally right after Sam as admitted to feeling like he’s failed Dean soo many times.

And of course Dean can’t have Sam just letting himself die like that, and honestly i don’t just see it as the “oh without Sam, Dean doesn’t know how to function” which is low key TRUE but... like he just heard Sam basically admit to wanting to die for a greater cause and not even seeming to doubt himself about it because when he went to confession to purify his blood for the Trials to cure Crowley, he basically spilled his guts about his failing of Dean as a brother and not being there for him, but then even when Dean comes to talk him out of it, after both of them are just recently imparted with the knowledge that completing the trials will result in Sam being DEAD... like of course Dean needs time to process, and he doesn’t care and Sam doesn’t care cause he’s just all like “so??” When he learns that this will cost him his life. But yet . YET he looks at Dean and just. Everything breaks.

He knows he doesn’t deserve this, he doesn’t deserve to die because his brother Dean was Wrong, he was wrong to make Sam feel so crappy all season after he having felt abandoned by Sam (you didnt look for me when I was in Purgatory??) , and their relationship is so fucked up, i mean reaching peak levels by now that Dean cant let Sam go, and Sam realized he didn’t really want to go, he still wants to live. But then EVEN THOUGH he doesn’t complete the trials, as if fucking Karma, he is going to die anyway. And Sam is at first like... wtf. And Dean just. Well.

And I remember all the lying and trying to not let Sam know, and feeling very guilty about everything, and I go back to this episode and I’m like. Yeah it’s done Sam a huge disservice also. He again was ready to die, but then he also made it very clear that a huge part of it, if not all of it, is still because he feels like he’s fucked up, and he’s tired of fucking up and disappointing the people he cares about (Dean) , and so he’s like okay. I guess I will just have to go .

But THEN.

Cue Dean (Gadreel) showing up in Sam’s mind and basically conveying everything Dean is trying to get across to him. Like. Basically it’s his way of apologizing to Sam and also ‘forgiving’ Sam (whether or not forgive is the Correct word, Sam probably needs to hear it like that at this point at least, cause he is the one who is still blaming himself),  and trying to show him that life is still worth fighting for. But then again also, showing us that there is no more Supernatural show, if one brother is to perma die.

Cue - Spn thesis statement in making the brothers do literally everything for each other as co-dependently as they possibly can: “There ain’t no me if there ain’t no you.”

And literally it was not like having Gadreel possess Sam was any kind of easy decision!!! He fought at Every Turn. Like what would you do when you have a freaking Angel offering you a solution, saying that there IS still a way to fix this. You stand there, bloody, beaten, exhausted and half out of your mind, Cas gone in the wind and you’re not going to give him up to his dick siblings under Any circumstances (hence the angelic beating) !!  And so you ask, how can you fix him? Okay. From the inside? Like a surgery? No. Possession?! Yes. No . No way he’ll agree to that.  Then Gadreel: well it was nice knowing you. Bye.

And Dean just can’t. He can’t. An opportunity is right there, RIGHT THERE to save him. So he starts to wonder. Consider it. But he knows that Sam wouldn’t say yes to Gadreel. He would say yes to Dean though, if Dean can save him. Sam WANTS to be saved. And I think this is just missed by so many takes idk, like yeah he says he was ready to die, but then explain the entire episode then?? Clearly those reasons for wanting to die were laid out already and he’s hardly convinced of it himself. But he tries.

And in front of Dean, he fails. Of course though, Sam saying yes to Gadreel is major fucked up because he doesn’t KNOW that was Gadreel. Like, jfc I didn’t even know that was Gadreel upon first watch. Legit I thought he was able to channel Dean in Sam’s mind somehow and then he would show Sam Gadreel and maybe explain the scenario like idfk. But it’s a difficult-ass decision. And we don’t exactly get to see how much of what just went down that Dean could actually Know and See, because that wasn’t him in Sam’s mind.

And in No Way is Dean satisfied with any of this. He doesn’t like keeping secrets. He hates it, he fucking hates it. He immediately is like okay, now we gotta tell Sam. Of course we have to tell Sam. Thanks buddy, I appreciate you trying to do your best with this, but I mean... dude Sam’s gotta know. Lmao.  and then Gadreel: Lmao, how about the fuck not?? What do you think Sam will do once he finds out?? He might eject me. He might fucking die. Do you REALLY wanna risk your brother’s life... again? For the third fucking time in one day??

And of course Dean is shook. Like... no. Wtf. They don’t hide things anymore. They can’t afford to. But now.... Dean can’t afford to NOT hide this. Sam can’t afford to know. At least for now.  And then of course, Gadreel takes his sweet fucking time healing Sam, but not for reasons unexplained. I mean... next episode, he smites the fuck out of demons that are bound to kill Sam at any moment. Demons that, as Dean acknowledge horribly afterward, are only roaming free because they didn’t go through with the trials. They didn’t go through with closing the gates of Hell. And because of the unwillingness of Dean to let go, no matter the reason, or if anyone else agreed or didn’t agree, now demons are roaming free. Abaddon is out there.  and Dean gets fed up with how long it seems to be taking  .  (very much noted that Gadreel literally saved human!Cas from literal actual Death two episodes later. And Dean didn’t even ask him to.

And then of course the mid-season finale with the fallout and Sam is so betrayed and hurt and just so upset at Dean’s lack of transparency and trust. When Dean says he is just poison, hurting everyone around him, and needs to just be far away from those he loves and cares about. He then retracts himself and sends himself away , gets approached by Crowley when he’s at this low point while stewing in his misery trying to track down Gadreel by himself and ... “so hey wanna help me hunt? To take down Abaddon? Yeah we’re gonna need this thing called the first blade , and to get that im gonna maniupulate you into obtaining the MOC from Cain his fucking Self.”

And of course that there decision right there sets the tone for the rest of the season and the entire next season as he deals with the consequences of his actions. And of course he didnt know the exact/ full risks of taking on the Mark at first because!! It was just “it comes with a great burden that you must bear” and then Dean of course thinking to himself: “A burden you say, haha, Well, what the fuck else is new. Lmao anyway. Okay i’ll take on the mark. Gets rid of Abaddon? No problem. At least this can help fix my mistake of not boarding up Hell when i had the chance: Sam was right, what else did we spend all last season trying to do in the first place?” And so it’s something that Dean can do to help mitigate the issues he finds himself in, but god oh God does the MOC just end up making things just THAT much worse.

[kpopluvrsblog]

You are mine.

Requested: may i request a younghoon fic where he gets really jealous about how y/n and sangyeon had been spending so much time together so once they are alone in the room, he reminds her that she's his.

genre: slight angst, smut, fluff

pairing: younghoon x fem!reader

warnings: unprotected sex(use protection pls!!), daddy kink, degrading, sub reader, swearing, name calling, deep throat, rough sex, spanking/slapping, creampie

A/n: DAMN this shit is long im so sorry-

You didn't mean for this to happen. You just happened to get along with sangyeon well which led to you guys hanging out more often. Recently you had been invited by sangyeon to come hang out with all of the members for a movie night.

you arrived at their dorms around 7 pm. younghoon opened the door for you but he didnt even say hello. he just glared at you and then walked to the living room. “Thats weird” you mumbled as you took of your shoes. You were wearing a sweatshirt sangyeon had given you when you forgot to bring extra clothes one night. It was huge on you and went to mid thigh length. You just wore shorts underneath so you could be comfortable.

When you made your way into the living room everyone had greeted you but you noticed there was only space on the couch next to sangyeon so you gladly found yourself seated next to him. Younghoon was on the other edge of the L shaped couch so that he was facing you. However he was sandwiched by kevin and juyeon.

The chicken they had ordered finally arrived as you all settled on a scary movie to watch. Hyunjae sprinted back into the living room with his arms full of chicken while eric set the table. Finally the movie is starting.

“Sangyeon” you whispered and he leaned closer eyes still trained on the tv. “ can you maybe cuddle me it’s freezing in here” you contined. Sangyeon looked down at you and noticed that your legs were in fact covered in goosebumps. He grabbed a blanket that was thrown behind the couch and wrapped it around the both of you as he opened up his arms for you to lean into. You placed your head against his arm and continued to watch.

What you both failed to notice was a hot headed younghoon staring at this interaction from afar. “Are you kidding me” younghoon whispered under his breath. “ what?” Juyeon asked slightly looking at him. “Nothing” younghoon responded sharply eyes still set you you wrapped around sangyeon.

Younghoon then saw sangyeon lean closer to whisper something to you and a second after you bursted into small giggles trying to not disturb the movie. This made younghoon livid. “ thats it” he spoke aloud while he took two long strides and yanked you off of the couch, pulling you with him.

“younghoon what is your problem?? Let me go!!” You screeched as he dragged you down the hallway not even sparing you a glance. The rest of the members shared a look of concern before a screech was heard from the tv , scaring them and making them focus back onto the movie.

He pulled you into his room... wait... this isint his room. “Younghoon why are we in sangyeons room?! What is your fucking problem-“

He cut you off by slamming the door shut and shoving you against it with one of his hands beside your head. “What is my problem hm?? Mind telling me why you’re acting like such a fucking slut.” He reached his other hand up to your neck and squeezed roughly making your eyes roll back.

“Oh my you are a fucking slut aren’t you?” He said with a teasing tone. “Answer me.” He demanded. “Younghoon i dont know what you-“ he cut you off with a sharp smack to your cheek. “ thats not my fucking name. Try again” he said.

You know that its better to not disobey him when he’s like this. “ daddy im sorry i didnt mean too” you gasped around his tight grasp on your throat. “ he doesn’t mean anything to me like that. he’s just like a brother to me please im sorry” you continued.

He smirked and loosened his grip around your throat which caused you to start choking. “You’re wearing his fucking sweatshirt too you slut. You wearing that for him hm?” He said as he started to slide both of his hands down your body. “No daddy im sorry i just wanted to be comfortable-“ he cut you off again not wanting to hear your excuse by grabbing the sweatshirt and basically ripping it off of you along with sliding down your shorts as well.

“Y/n” he said sternly while looking you in the eyes. “Yeah?” You replied meekly not wanting to say something and upset him more. “Knees. Now”

You quickly fell to your knees, eyes trained on his hands moving to unbuckle his black jeans. He pulled his jeans and boxers down just enough to pull out his semi hard dick, already having pre cum coat his tip. He pushed your head so the the back of it was touching the wall. He stroked his dick twice then slapped it against your lips. “Remember the safe word baby?” He asked, the dom in him shying away for just a second. “Rose” you replied shortly.

“Open” he grunted. You immediately open your mouth as he shoved his dick down your throat making you gag around him causing him to moan aloud. Your hand moved to grab his thighs for support as he moved closer until your head was trapped tigtly between the wall and his hips.

He rolled his hips slowly. He then grabbed your face with both hands as he started to rut into your mouth at a fast pace with his balls hitting your chin and your head lightly tapping against the wall. “Your such a dirty baby taking my dick down your throat like that. Oh i bet it hurts your tiny little throat”You could only whine and gag around his cock until he suddenly pulled out and pulled you up from your arms.

He smashed his lips onto yours while you were still trying to gasp for air, pussy clenching with the want to be filled and tears streaming down your face. He fully took off his pants and shirt. “Jump” he said as he ripped your panties and unclasped your bra, throwing them somewhere into this poor members room.

You jumped as he placed his hand underneath your ass easily holding you up against the wall. “Damn look at how wet you are from me using your throat Y/n.” He said while rubbing the head of his dick against your throbbing pussy. “Please put it in daddy” you whined.

Wasting no time he settled himself inside of you with one quick thrust causing you to moan loudly. He started to slide in and out of your tight pussy while biting and sucking at your neck and collarbones until deep dark spots were forming. From you being so wet he couldn’t help but pound inside. He quickly got tired of this position though.

He took you from off of the wall and threw you onto the bed. “Get on all fours” he demanded. “ younghoon this is sangyeons bed though this is wrong-“ he slapped your thigh hard leaving a handprint. “Dont piss me off even more y/n, you better get on all fours right fucking now slut.”

You got on all fours as he pulled your hips back to meet his but he didn’t put himself in yet. “Would you like to tell me what you called me not even 10 seconds ago?” He spoke. ‘Oh shit’ you thought in your head. “D- daddy im so sorry please forgive me”

“Fucking dumb slut can’t do anything right” he muttered to himself. He brought down his hand harshly to your ass cheek making you scream in pain. “Count” he said.

After 15 hard smacks he felt satisfied with how raw your ass was for him. He pushed your knees farther apart as he pushed his hard dick back into you. “Fuck still so tight” he groaned. He started to roughly pound you into the mattress making the bed slam into the wall repeatedly, definitely making dents. “Scream for me baby. You’re mine do you understand that? Only my little slut that was made for me to ruin” he groaned loudly.

You easily did as he asked, screaming into the mattress with how his hips met your raw ass.” Tell me baby, you like being fucked on Sangyeons bed huh? He said as his thrusts started to stutter. “YES daddy oh my god i love it. Please im going to cum. You’re going to make me cum.” You kept babbling nonsense as he leaned over you with one arm next to your head and the other reaching around your body to play with your neglected clit.

“Cum for me slut. Make a mess all over sangyeons bed sheets” he moaned loudly. You followed his orders with a loud scream as you released around him spurring him to cum inside of you. He slowly stopped his thrusts when his high came to an end, only to collapse on the bed next to where your aching body was lying.

After a minute of catching your breaths he turned to look at you.” Y/n im sorry I didn’t mean to get so angry. I just didn’t like seeing him touching you like that and especially with how close you guys are-“ you cut him off this time with a soft kiss to his lips. You both lazily smiled as you pulled away. “I shouldn’t have been ignoring you for him though. anyways im sorry for not paying more attention to you younghoon.” You smiled sweetly.

“Let me take care of you okay my sweet baby? I meant nothing that i said during that. You know how much you mean to me.” He replied and then left a soft peck against your forehead while he went to get things to clean up with. He came back in his pajamas with a warm washcloth and lotion in one hand and HIS clothes this time in the other for you to change into.

After cleaning you up he asked” can you turn around for me baby, slowly, I don’t want you to hurt yourself” still naked you turned around while he rubbed lotion onto the red marks he had left on your ass and hips. “I love you” he said when he was done as he kissed your shoulder blades. “I love you too” you smiled back as he started to dress you in a clean pair of his boxers and a t shirt.

You started to feel sleepy as he picked you up and brought you to his room to sleep. On the way there he told sangyeon to sleep on the couch for tonight making half of the members groan in disgust and the other half snicker at his remark. He placed you under the covers and soon after his eyes started to feel droopy as well. You both fell asleep cuddling into each other.

[pigeonxp]

YGCMA songs and how they relate to c!Wilbur based off of yesterday’s lore (in my biased opinion)

This is so dumb and i literally don’t care. I can’t think about anything else other than doing this synopsis even tho like 28480329204 other people are going to do it. idc. 

(I listened to the songs earlier, and i’m also listening to them as i write the opinions. these are basically just my thoughts while listening tbh. im also not doing the full song, just some things i feel relate within each song)

- Jubilee Line

the lines at the beginning of the song, “hate to see you leaving / a fate worse than dying” could relate to how wilbur feels after tommy gets pulled back into the overworld. or, he could be referencing L’Manburg and how he hates to see his country leaving him (ouch). 

then we have the lines “your city gave me asthma / so thats why im fucking leaving / and your water gave me cancer / and the pavements hurt my feelings”. This could be in relation to L’Manburg as a whole. He put everything he had into L’Manburg and it only ended up hurting him in the end. yikes. 

now we have “shout at the wall / ‘cause the walls dont fucking love you” repeated. This could be in reference to when he said he was fucking kicking and screaming to get out of the train station. hes screaming and he doesnt care because it doesnt matter to him. it doesnt love him just like how the people of L’Manburg didnt love him. wilbur get therapy challenge.

so based on the lore from yesterday, we know that c!wilbur’s limbo was a train station (props to fanartists. i love you.), presumably the YCGMA album cover type deal. when he sings “Theres a reason / that London puts barriers on the tube line / theres a reason / that London puts barriers on the rails” repeated. if the train station looks like how they do on the album cover, there could be barriers where he is. maybe hes trying his best to just kill himself over again by jumping onto the tracks. just in an attempt to escape. jfc 

“theres a reason they fail”. he was still in the train station, wasnt he?

- Saline Solution

for this one, i feel like hes pretty far into the void and regretting his decision to have phil kill him. hes tired of being in a fucking train station for years on end. 

“i think this time im dying / im not melodramatic / im just pragmatic beyond any / reasoning for thinking ive got / fuckin rabies or something.” hes so fucking sick of being in this goddamn train station and he thinks hes dying. hes so pent up and sick of being there, maybe hes just in so much pain that he feels like hes dying. if hes been there for a while, hes probably bound to go crazy at some point, hence the “pragmatic beyond any reasoning.”

“I think ive lost my mind / blurring the fact and the fictions” this feels like he really does believe hes going crazy and is mixing up the things he really knows and the things his mind is creating for him. maybe this is when tommy first arrived and he cant tell if he real or not (thats a stretch but i figured id share it anyway.)

“I think ive made my choice / im a deceased playing victim / slip the face, slip the victory” he quite literally says that hes a deceased playing victim. hes literally saying hes dead HAHHAHAH anyway. maybe hes blaming himself again, because us c!wilbur apologists all know that hes very good at doing that.

“Sit secluded in hatred /.../” hes sitting in a fucking train station for god knows how long beating himself up over and over again and just hating himself. hes all alone. with himself. someone he fucking loathes.

this is honestly all i have for Saline Solution, but i will definitely add more later if i get different theories. 

- Since I Saw Vienna

This is my favorite song on the album and my comfort song so that could factor into this bit ahaha

im going to skip through this one a little bit and go to the line “The roads are my home, horizons my target / if i keep on moving, never lose sight of it / treating my memory of you like a fire, let it / burn out, don’t fight it, try to move on” this sounds like hes reminiscing on his home in L’Manburg and his presidency was something he relied on and he would fight to get it back, but now that hes dead and said that it should remain that way that he should just let it go. trying to move on from his symphony, forever unfinished. 

 “its been sixty weeks since i saw vienna / a bandage and a wide smile slapped across my face / ill pick up my hiking boots when i am ready / and ill put down my roots when im dead.” THESE LINES FUCK ME UP IN GENERAL BUT HOW THEY RELATE TO C!WILBUR RN IS JUST SUIBHYSBUSHDXNSKJDNHBD YK???? in the context that vienna is L’Manburg and he died, its saying that its been a long ass time since hes seen it and hes faking being okay about his death. he misses it but doesnt want to admit it. the picking up the hiking boots when hes ready is him moving on from his L’Manburg, and putting his roots down when hes dead is finally being okay with not living there/being an important part of it. he believed his death was the best for the people in L’Manburg and L’Manburg itself. it seems like hes still trying to convince himself. 

“Ill be gone then, for when you must be alone.” hes gone. hes dead. hes in the train station. he left the L’Manburgians alone and hes alone in his limbo. man. 

- Losing Face

this song is angry. hes so fucking angry. my thoughts are that this is about the following presidents after him. he feels like the L’Manburgians were happier without him and im pretty sure he believed that even when Schlatt was president. this is so evident in the lyric “Is he better than me?” Hes literally asking if the other presidents were better than he was. he doesnt believe he did everything he could to be the best president, even though we all know that he gave everything that he was into that country and then some. he broke himself for the L’Manburg but he doesnt believe hes enough. sheesh.

“Ive seen him / ive been him / ive felt the same way” even though he cant see the new presidents being president, he knows what its like. he knows that they might break under the pressure. hes been there. he knows how if feels. yikes. 

“Ive lost all meaning / ive lost my sense of hope” this feels like when he was nearing the end of L’Manburg when he blew it up, and that he feels like trying to win it back is pointless. he has no hope for it anymore, so why not give up? his mental state is already shit yk so i cant really blame him for feeling that way. 

“i dont care / i want you here / as long as youre happy, i dont care” this line. this fucking line. hes lost hope in being president, but he doesnt care. he just wants the L’Manburgians to be happy. that was his whole thought process while he was president. he didnt matter to himself, he just wanted them to be happy. he sacrificed his mental state for them. cries in wilbur apologist.

- Your Sister Was Right

this is my second favorite song on the album i think HAHAHAH

anyway

“I use everyone i ever meet / i cant find the perfect match / abuse those i love / while i ostracize the ones who love me / back.” wowie wow wow fucking ouchie. He feels like he uses his friends. this whole thing is a projection of his shit ass mental state rn fucking hell. he feels like hes abusive. thats what everyones been telling him. they tell him he was awful and a shit president and all that jazz even though hes been killing himself trying to be the best for them but its still not enough (pigeon projecting? more likely than you think)

“every time that i miss you / i feel the way you hurt / and i dont deserve you / you deserve the world / though it feels like we were built / from the same dirt.” man. hes dead lol. he misses the L’Manburgians. not only were they his supporters, but they were all his friends too. every time he misses his friends he feels their pain of when he first blew up L’Manburg. he feels like because he caused them all pain that they dont like him and that they never liked him and that he is undeserving of their friendship. he still wants to be friends with them. he still loves them. he still wants the best for them. he thinks theyre so much better than him even though they all created L’Manburg together. in reality they are all the same, but their actions impact each other and he feels that his actions make him worse than them or less than. fuckisonmdfnpbhife

“and i hate to say it / but your sister was right / dont trust english boys / with far too much free time” sister is dream mayhaps. fuckngeionsfjg that hurt sorry uhhh anyway yeah sister is dream?? he did say that wilbur would be a shit president and he believes that hes a shit president so he thinks they were all right about him being a shit president  fbhjebinfnejg. maybe sister is just everyone who didnt believe in wilbur. man....

“a fucking waste of time” do i even need to explain this one? he fr doesnt belive hes worth it anymore and that hes literally a waste of time. hjkfbhnfve

- La Jolla

this one feels pretty far into train station limbo to me as well. namely from “and im lonely / there i said it” this could either be him being lonely as president and feeling like he doesnt have anyone to talk to really because hes too busy trying to hold himself together for everyone. either that or hes lonely in the station and didnt want to admit it because this is what he wanted. he wanted to die. he wanted to be dead because he believed thats what everyone else wanted and he just wanted the best for them. 

“i could go away / i could pack my things and be gone before you wake” he could leave if they asked him to. he would do anything for them. 

“you know ive tried hard to love me too / it always seems to fall in, through” this line already physically pained me but now it hurts even more having to relate it to a character i love. we already know that his mental state was declining as his presidency continued, but this would confirm that hes just trying to love himself even though he can never seem to get it right. 

“my own personal sunset” this is just the ‘this is my sunrise’ line but different. my man misses the sun. fuck. 

- I’m Sorry Boris

this song is almost definitely from a long ass time in the limbo. 

“and im sorry / but, boris / im leaving / im not good for anyone here” boris represents L’Manburgians!! hes talking about how hes leaving the world by planning on killing himself. fuck. 

“we reached the end of a decade” mans been dead for a decade. sheesh. 

he then goes on to say that he cant believe hes leaving, he doesnt think he wants to leave them, but he thinks its whats best for them.

he talks about how they do all of these bullshit things before helping you and i know its in reference to london but for the sake of my sanity its about the presidency role and how it will fuck you up before bothering to help you not want to kill yourself.  

should i do a separate post about how i visualized it/about how i thought about the song in paragraph form like a lowkey explanation? idk how to explain it but in this one i wanted to just cover some of the lyrics of the songs and my thoughts on them. i think c!wilbur wrote these in the limbo after he died. i know this is also shit and Not Good, but i really just needed to get my thoughts out before it killed me. i also didnt reread this. its probably repetitive and shit yk. i do Not Care. id also love to hear thoughts on this if yall want to. if you made it this far i love you please hydrate and eat today and youre so sexy ahaha 

“and even though im finished / im not quite done with it” even though hes finishing his symphony by blowing it up, hes now realizing he wished he hadnt blown it up and that he hadnt killed himself. man. 

-

[shyrose57]

2: I will figure it out eventually and that's a promise.

3: Watson is aboustely heart broken and near tears multiple times as well hearing Ran in so much distress and actually crying. Jackie does cry, he attempts multiple times to hug Ran and make it known he's there to comfort him, but it only works sometimes, and when it doesn't work Ran gets scared and tries to get away believing an attacker has gotten him. Grievous is almost like silently grieving, knowing he can't do anything to help his close friend. Cletus feels bad, and since he isnt too good with emotions, focuses on instead attempting to cheer everyone else up. Isaac and Benjamin feel awful as they feel at fault for letting it happen, so to hopefully help they make plans on how to make Ran as comfortable and safe as can be while also getting him to a nearby town they heard about to hopefully reverse it. Charles is doing his damn best to comfort Ran while also distracting him from his own thoughts, which mostly means Charles (and Watson) play the role of story teller for a while. Ranbob is the hardest hit by it, he's suffering so much because he so badly just wants to go over and hug his little brother and comfort him, tell him that it'll all be ok and that Bobby would protect him. But also knows he can't because he knows that would most likely do nothing but make it worse. For a while he spends his time blocking his ears and wrapped in a comfort blanket trying to comfort himself, as everyone else tend to his suffering brother. One thing that makes it harder is that Ran begins to purr to himself in a vain attempt to comfort himself (cause I personally like to think Enderman hybrids are like cats and purr like them, when their happy, content, comfortable, but also to soothe themselves and heal wounds), when Ranbob knows Ran's never purred, so knowing he's so desperate to try it now hurts him. 

You will get some comfort, like Watson manages to convince Ranbob to at least hug Ran, and Ranbob manages to purr alongside Ran a bit, which does actually help to calm Ran down. Ran getting wrapped up with the fluffiest blanket they have and always having Watson, Jackie, or Grievous by his side. With Jackie tending to hold his hand. 

4: All of the above. Sudden touch can be overwhelming to Ranbob at times, especially when he's not doing well mentally. Also while in this state, touch reminds him of the desperate grabbing and touching of the people he killed that tried to escape or fend him off. And Dream was able to hurt Ranbob by starving and dehydrating him of course, but when Ranbob was being particularly disobedient and tried to fight back Dream would often take control and cut or stab Ranbob then gave back control as punishment. 

10: It does get better! Idk if I already said but Kelalen is actually where they get the antidote for Rans blindness potion! And when their given it for free and it works, they become very grateful to Adler and Lucia (the one who actually convinced Adler to give them the potion in the first place cause it was the only one left). And a few days after they arrive they actually decide to explore the town, where they meet Siren and get more information on Dream and who he was, they also get their weapons and armor repaired by them. But while talking with Siren, Cletus and Grievous sneak off and run into Atlas, then Cletus and Grievous agree to help Atlas with his prank. But by the end of their second week in Kelalen the group starts to truly enjoy their stay, Ranbob often saying how it kind of reminds him of Mizu before everything happened. 

12: Thats funny though and is exactly how I'd want to be seen.

13: *CLAPS HANDS* OH BOY DO I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU. I RECENTLY TOLD MY FRIEND ABOUT RANBOB SEEING HIS DEAD FRIENDS AND FAMILY BUT FAILED TO TELL THEM IT WASNT ACTUALLY PART OF THE STORY. SO THEY TOOK IT LITTERALY AND THEY HAVE GIVEN ME IDEAS, WHILE ALSO HELPING ME REALIZE THAT THIS COULD ACTUALLY BE USED TO SET UP FOR RANBOB MOVING PAST HIS TRAUMAS AND CAN LEAD TO MORE FLUFF AND ANGST. SO NOW IT IS PART OF THE STORY, WITH CHANGES THAT IT HAPPENED DURING A DREAM AND HE DIDNT BELIEVE IT AND CONSIDERED IT A CRUEL JOKE BY FATE ITSELF AT FIRST. AND YES BY AT FIRST I MEAN THIS HAPPENS MANY MORE TIMES.

Also my friend has a message for you, "HahA THEY BETTER THANK ME I SET THEM UP FOR MORE MISERY 😈😈 /j" (I wanna be safe so if you don't know /j means that their joking)

14: Im not doing Foolish and Dream brothers because I personally don't like/get it. But I was thinking maybe they meet Foolish after Mripat tells them that there was a member of the SMP who was said to be a god and immortal. And after some long conversations they decide to go hunt for this apparently immortal god. Which takes a while since no one actually knows where he is, just that he likes deserts, and have to go off possible sightings or hints in history books. And when they finally meet him they manage to learn about totems (which they previously didn't know about) and even get some. They also learn that infact even during the SMP time no one quite knew what Dream was, and learns the ways the SMP tried to permanently get rid of him. Foolish is also devastated to know that Dream infact survived and becomes determined to help them. Even offering his help that if they ever go back to Mizu to face Dream, he'll come along and help in anyway he can. 

15: I like to imagine Edward remembers Ranboo as the young troubled enderman that he basically adopted and took care of. So Edward sees Ranboo in both Ran and Ranbob, so he offers his help and advice. Basically becoming their Grandad, telling stories about everything he's seen. Especially about Ranboo because Ranbob is so curious about his ancestor he just cant help but ask. One convo I've been particularly thinking about goes something like, "Edward: Older one, what do you think your brother thinks about you? Ranbob: I..I think he doesnt like me, and that he wants me gone. Edward: Hmm, your wrong. Ranbob: What? Edward: When I look at Ran, I see a child, not an adult yet, scarred, scared and traumatized. A child that wishes you two were closer, that he could forgive you and wants to believe you, just so you two could be family again. But is afraid too, for he already has a family, that he is terrified of losing, and is scared if he attempts to trust you again that they may leave him. But make no mistake, your brother wants to make amends, your brother cares about you and wants you happy. He knows deep down that he can trust you, and that you are innocent, but you all must help him acknowledge those parts, and stand by him, helping him walk when needed, as he traverses his own nightmares." AKA I really want Edward to be the reason Ranbob realizes that Ran does want to be family again but needs help. Cause if I had to describe the brothers current positions with their trauma it'll be, Ranbob-Knows he has trauma and is trying to get better and live with it, willingly getting help. Ran-Is fucking drowning in trauma cause he refuses to acknowledge he has it and hides it well most of the time, also doesn't ask for help. 

2: I fear the day.

3: Hahaha, ow, ow, ow. That, overall, is...heartbreaking. At the same time though, it’s sweet to see everyone pitching in to do their best and help him. We got it with Ranbob, now we get it with Ran.

I am curious, though. From what you’ve said, Blindness potions don’t wear off immediately? Why’s that?

4: *Chants* Please punch Dream. Please punch Dream. Please punch Dream. How do the fishermen deal with this, and help Ranbob?

10: Oh, god, Ran’s blind when they arrive in town. That’s definitely a high tension situation. Not only have you got him out of commission, but everyone else high strung from it, and probably having their protective instincts in overdrive when they randomly get treated hostilely. What exactly does an antidote for blindness consist of? Do most potions have antidotes, or counters? Is milk no longer used, or is that not a thing in the AU? It does sound nice that they all end up making friends later on though. How does Ran adjust to having his sight back? And, y’know, having everyone see him like that, and his brother comfort him(if they aren’t on good terms at this point, the timeline’s confusing me a bit)

12: Throughout this conversation, every time I read something sad, the image struck me, and honestly, it’s what you deserve. If these keeps up, I’m gonna start inserting these little 🏹s every time you hurt my heart. 

13: I’m being conspired against. Does everyone see this? Brothers Anon and their friend are conspiring to break my heart. Such gremlins. What did I ever do to you two?

Also, you can tell your friend that from this point on, I will closely associate them with a tiny, purple, cackling imp. 

14: Huh. Why do they want to find Foolish? Curiosity? To learn more about the Smp? About Dream? Sounds like it has a lot of potential to be quite the interesting encounter. And, since they didn’t previously know about the totems, they probably wouldn’t notice if one activated in a certain situation where it’s popped...do with that what you will.

15: Anon, I love all of this. Tell me more about Grandpa Edward. Does he fondly look back to Ranboo being polite and quiet while Ranbob and Ran cause havoc in the background? Does he bake them snacks and tell them about Ranboo’s adventures, and how much he loved to mine-which, in hindsight, is kind of funny, considering you just mentioned that so few people follow Skeppy because of the mining, but apparently their ancestor did that thing for fun.

[demolition-lovers-blog]

THE LAST OPTION

Part 1

Harry and y/n have been best friends for over 10 years. When y/n starts feeling like she is Harry's last option she is crushed,but then decides to try to live a Harry free life. When Harry realizes what he has done to y/n will it be to late to fix things....

Y/n had been friends with Harry for about 12 years so she was around when Harry auditioned for The X Factor. They had always been super close most including Harry would call them best friends. Y/n is not one of the people who would consider them best friends anymore. There was definitely a time where she would say with absolute certainty that they were best friends, thru most of his 1 Direction days they were best friends.She thinks maybe it was towards the end of 1 Direction is when she started to feel a shift.

Harry would still call and send her tickets to where they were on tour at the time but, she was slowly seeing a pattern forming. When whoever he was dating at the time had already come to visit, when his mom and sister had come and gone or couldn't make it. This is when y/n feels like Harry reaches out when hes spent time with the people he really wants to see first, when they have all returned home and he was lonely and needed company or someone to cuddle with is when Y/n's phone would blow up.

Y/n has decided she no longer wants to be Harry's last option, no one would blame her, if she was supposed to be his best friend then she should be one of his first options.

Y/n will not admit to anyone especially Harry that somewhere along those 12 years of friendship she had fallen in love. So besides feeling like a dejected best friend, everytime she saw the Twitter and Instagram pictures of Harry and Kendell her heart also broke a little more. She felt like Harry was actually rejecting her in two different ways at the very same time.

Y/n had made up her mind she deserved better she didnt want to be anyone's second choice whether it be as their bestfriend or their lover, she decided to open herself up more she was always so closed off never letting any guy even have a chance cause all she could see was Harry, you could say she had tunnel vision and finally decided to step out and into the light and just maybe see the world and the people that where in it. She decided to finally see what life was like without the Harry Styles filter.

Harry being Harry is totally oblivious to his own actions he is the one making the decision to call and ask Kendell to come visit him on tour over y/n,but he's not looking at the bigger picture he figures as long as he asks her and she comes to visit does it really matter who he invites first to come. Harry wasnt even sure why he would call Kendell first before y/n it's not like he could honestly say he missed Kendell more or even preferred her company to y/n's it just the way he kept going about it lately. He kept placing y/n lower on his priority list. When someone would ask him where y/n has been, he would just smile and say "I plan on bringing her out soon, i just dont think it would be fair to her or Kendell to try to hang out with both of them visiting at the same time. It would be to hard to split my time,so when Kendell goes home I'm planning on her coming to visit.

The thing Harry seemed to fail to realize, but everyone around him,his band,his manager,even some of the crew all could see crystal clear is that Kendell wasnt leaving. Jeff swears she is doing it to prevent Harry from bringing y/n out for a visit. Kendell was jealous of y/n, she made it known to everyone but Harry that she didnt like her. She didnt see the need for two people who were only friends to spend so much time together, she wanted y/n gone and she wanted her gone now.

Another week has gone by and then suddenly Kendell is basically dragged back home by her mother, who as her manager was sick of everyone calling and complaining about Kendell never showing up for product launches,photo shots etc. So as hard as she fought to stay she finally left with her mother to go back home.

Harry hasn't heard from y/n in a while. He has texted her,called her, tried face timing her but she never answered and If he did catch her she would tell him how busy she was and that she would call him back, but the call never came. When she was supposed to be to busy speak with him he would see pictures of her popping up on his Twitter and Instagram and with her usual set of girlfriends that he is used to see her in pictures with but now with the edition of guys, guys Harry has never seen before but they were suddenly showing up in all y/n's social media posts.

Harry couldn't help feeling a pang of sadness that maybe she wasnt to busy to talk she was just to busy to talk to him.

Harry had just tried to call y/n for the fifth time today, when he was moping his way back to his room he noticed y/n had posted on her twitter and she was out with her friends having a blast,Harry was about to feel sorry for himself when all of a sudden it dawned on him. This is how you must have felt all those months he pushed you aside and continued to let Kendell stay on tour with him. You were hurt and you were pissed at him, and he knows you have every right to be and that you should be. He is also determined to make it up to you. He is gonna leave right away and go find you so he can apologize and tell you how important you are to him. He knows he has to do it now before it's to late if he waits any longer he might destroy their friendship, if he let it go to long he knows it might be past fixing. Harry starts walking over to his phone so he can book the next flight out to y/n's town but, he stops when he hears his hotel door opening and in comes Kendell "I dont have any obligations for the whole week Harry!! Isnt that great we can spend the whole week together." Harry is just standing there staring at her, he had no clue what he should do at this moment. Harry knows he needs to get to y/n but he also feels terrible leaving Kendell after she came all this way to see him.

Mitch suddenly walks into Harry's line of sight, he had been here the whole time watching a movie and keeping to himself just being Mitch. As Mitch walks by Harry on his way to the door he stops and shakes his head "Harry open your eyes man, shes trying to keep you from seeing y/n,everyone can see it. Just know your gonna loose y/n for good by the time you finally see what Kendell is up to its gonna be to late."

Harry just stood there looking between Mitch and Kendell. It was clearly written all over his face that he did not know how he was going to handle this situation. Mitch just slowly lowers his shaking head "I hope you remove your head out of your ass soon brother." And with that Mitch leaves the room and Harry has to make a decision, he just wishes he knew what he should do. In the back of his head he already knew his decision he just hopes he isnt going to regret it later.

A/n I'm not even sure I like this... I was going to do a part 2 but now I'm not sure if I should or if this is even any good. So I'll let you guys decide. Hope everyone is happy and healthy.👿🖤😘

[agentsoftie]

Chasing Cars ( C.M )

summary: you have a full on mental breakdown and penelope is there when you have it. her being the expressive person she is tells everyone leading for emily to get mad, and you to understand some feelings

a/n: this is a whole thing. so prepare yourself. also thanks elle and @anepiphany for helping out with this one!

warnings: mental breakdown, swearing (a lot of it), angry emily, heartbreak, basically angst

pairing: hotch x (fem) reader : emily x (fem) reader : rossi (platonic) x reader

song: chasing cars

tagging: @thestrawberrygirl, @marshmallowtraver, @ghostly-angelic, @criminalmindsmoodrn, @yesimaunicorn​

Remember to like and reblog!! And leave feedback!!

Today was not the day. Not the day to have fun, not the day to mess around, not the day to do anything, and yet here we were. Walking into the FBI, a place filled with bad things. And in that sense, enough horrible, terrible, and mortifying things to make an angel frown. This whole week was not going well for you. In fact, it was like your life just decided to turn on you when everything was going just your way. First, your dog died, then it was the 5th year anniversary of your brother’s tragic death. And not to mention your anxiety had been getting worse and worse ever since your best friends Emily’s death, and then resurrection. Oh and the fact that you’re 99% sure that the guy you love, hates you. Yeah, that doesn’t help your case either.

“You’re late.” You hear someone say in a very demeaning stern voice while you rush through the 2 glass doors that protect the outside world from all of the horrors. “Oh shit, sorry Hotch,” You murmur while quickly stumbling to your desk as if you were late for class. You spilt all your files on your desk and then plopped down in the chair as if it were nothing. You put down and debated on falling asleep, but then remembering that your boss would scold you more than he already has, and who would like that.

Penelope happened to be walking by your desk at this time. Everyone else was to busy to notice you, but she did. “Hey Y/N! Can you come with me real quick.” She said while tapping your desk. “What, I- yeah.” You say after jolting your head up and getting up. You followed her into her so-called “bat cave” until you asked why she called you in here. “So, why did you call me in here?” All she did was point to an extra chair and say sit, which you gladly did.

“You’ve been acting strange lately, almost like a different person. So spill.”

“Spill what?”

“Your feelings Y/N. Tell me everything. Because clearly no one cares enough to ask, except me of course. And it’s good to get your feeling out, no matter what they are. And that means I want you to lay everything on me. Make me your free therapist. Tell me all of your problems, all of them.”

You were trying to hold back your tears, you really were. “Penelope”' You said trying to catch your breath. “I just cant anymore. Everything is getting, so hard, and I just. I don’t know what to do. I can’t think straight anymore. And it’s like every day I’m failing, miserably. No matter how hard I try, or will ever try, Hotch will always resent me. I mean, he HATES me Penelope, HATES!! And you know what, I love him. I love it so much and he hates me and I just don’t know what to do. I try to be good enough for him, but everything I do is just, it’s not enough!”

At this point, you were balling. It was like a waterfall. “And did you know that my dog Honey dies 2 days ago? You didn’t do you. No one did! No one does! No pays and fucking attention to me, and I know that that’s pathetic but I am a human being too, I need attention and affection! And I understand that I shouldn’t get my personal life mixed up in work, but literally everyone fucking does it!! In some goddamn way, in some goddamn time, we’ve all fucking done it! But if I do it, I’m being a bad person, an attention seeker, a brat! I’m not a fucking brat Penelope! And you know what, I’m done with people treating me like a fucking doormat! Just because I smile people assume they can treat me like absolute garbage! LIke trash! And you know what! I don’t even know why I smile! I’m not fucking happy! I haven’t been happy for a while! You see this smile, ha, yeah its fucking fake. It’s all fucking fake! Ive gotten at a point where this stupid fucking smile is a reflex, I don’t want it to be a fucking reflex, Penelope!”

At this point, you didn’t even have full control over what you were saying. It was all just coming out, and you just couldn’t stop. “God and my best fucking friend died! Haha, and then she came fucking back like it was nothing! And of course, I didn’t say anything, but oh my fucking god! People just leave, and when they come back, they act like it's nothing. Did you know that today is the 5th year anniversary of my brother’s death? Yeah, this is why I’m late. BUt did Hotch give me a second to explain that I was at his grave, no, he fucking did-”

You were cut off by the door opening. “Hey! We heard some yelling here, is everything okay?” JJ says while looking at the mess that is you.

“Uh, yeah,” You say while wiping all the tears off your face. “We were, just um watching The Notebook, and well you know,”

“Oh okay,” She says in a sense of relief, “Also Y/N, everyone is asking for you to bring some coffee since we ran out of it here.”

“Uh, yeah okay.” You get up and leave like nothing just happened. Penelope was still processing everything you said so she was not paying attention to the fact that you were gone. You quickly grab your coat, purse, and keys and head out.

Penelope was still in shock due to everything that just happened. “Penelope, are you okay?” JJ asks.

“Yes, but no! But yes, ahh, okay. You know what, just get everyone in the briefing room.”

“We have a case? Shouldn’t we wait for Y/N to come back?”

“Yes, well no. God! Just get everyone in there, I have some very important news.”

“Babygirl, why are we here?” Derek says after everyone’s in the briefing room.

“Yeah Garcia, if this isn’t a case, you guys need to get back to work,” Hotch says.

“Oh but this is a case. A very severe one. How much time do we have?” she says while looking at the clock, “Okay 12 minutes should be enough.”

“Enough for what?” Spencer asked, trying to understand what was going on.

“Hush my sweet child let me talk. Uh, okay how does one do this?”

“Do what?” Emily yells.

“Let me think Emily! Okay, our dear friend and teammate Y/N, has been going through some shit and you guys, we, us, are not helping. The poor girl goes through shit every day and we don’t see a thing. Some profilers you all are. And I mean Emily, you’re her best friend! You should have known this!”

“Babygirl calm down. Why are you getting so mad?” Derek asks.

“I’m not mad! Well, I am, but you guys are not seeing the main point here! We’ve all been treating this poor helpless innocent girl like crap! And she can’t even go to her boss because he hates her!”

“I don’t hate Y/N!” Hotch yells trying to defend himself.

“You kinda do Hotch,” Spencer says, causing Hotch to give him a death wish.

“You guys!! I’m scared of her! She needs us! Her dog died yesterday and her brother's death anniversary is today! She’s hurting and we’re making her get coffee for god sakes!! And speaking of coffee, she’s most likely getting out of her car right now, so everyone acts normal, but not. Now scatter!” Penelope says while urging her hands. And with that everyone was out.

Everyone went back to their offices except for Rossi, he went into Hotch’s office. “Why didn’t you say anything?” Hotch yells at him. “Because that’s something for you to tell everyone. That’s something you tell her Aaron! You’re gonna have to accept the fact that you feel this was sooner or later, and I’m hoping sooner. And when you do, you’re going to have to tell her. And then apologize for all the shit you’ve done to her, and then if she wants, comfort her. And with that, she’s here. So for god sakes tell her.”

“But what if she says the opposite?” Hotch asks while Rossi is halfway out the door.

“You deal with it, and move on,”

“Here you all go!” You say while walking up to them. “One hot chocolate for Spencer. An iced coffee for miss Garcia and Jareau. One pumpkin spice latte for Mr. Clean, and a-” You were cut off by a very mad Emily. “Y/N we need to talk. Privately.” You couldn't tell why she was mad, but she was definitely pissed about something. Honestly everyone was off but you just couldn't tell why.

You both walked into the briefing room and before you could say anything she yelled at you, well not yell, but expressed loudly. “Why!” She asked. You were confused, as anyone would be. “What?” You answered not understanding anything. “Why did you tell everything to Garcia! Am I not good enough for you! Am I not your friend anymore? Because I swear Y/N if that's the case then I don't know why I even came back.Because you what, when i\I came back I thought that you out of everyone would trust me.”

“Oh really! Emily, you left! You were gone! And didn’t even bother to tell me, your best fucking friend!!”

“Okay, you know what Y/N, yes I was gone! But I did for my safety! I did it four all of our safety!”

“Emily, we could have helped you! You didnt have to go halfway around the fucking world!”

“No Y/N you don't understand, and never will!! But you what, all that time that I was in France I couldn't stop thinking about you! About what you were doing! About how you were! And you know what I still feel that way! I want to be with you! You’re my best fucking friend! But you don't tell me SHIT!! WHY!! You're gonna tell Penelope but no me!! Me!! And Penelope out of all people!! Y/N if you’re hurting you should have come to me!! I've been through this!! I am going through this!!”

“Why cant you realize that you can fucking come to me!!! I mean did do something fuking wrong?! Y/N, I'm asking you. “ You didn’t answer, how were you supposed to. You were still taking everything in and honestly none of it made sense. Was she mad, was she concerned. All you could tell was that there were tears running down your face and you didn't know how to stop it. You tried to breathe but you just couldn’t. “Y/N! God, whatever. Just know that you probably hate me right now, but I'll always be there for you.”

And with that she was out. She walked out of the room without looking back, or maybe she did, you just didn't see. This was too complicated for you to understand. Ha, and you were a profiler for god sakes. You wanted to run out but before you could you heard the door open. You didn’t look up because you were too ashamed to face Emily with all the tears running down your face. But suddenly you felt an arm on your shoulder. You turned around to see that shadow of a tall man that glared over you.

“Hotch?” You asked quietly. “Y/N,” he said looking down at you. You still hadn’t faced him in the eye. You couldn't, you were a mess and you couldn't let him of all people see you like this. Although when you think about it, if you like him, shouldn't he see you like this. You being the real, true, authentic Y/N. “Hotch, I, can explain.” You say while snifiling, his hands still on you. “No, let me explain.”

“Ever since the day you came here, I’ve been a terrible friend, boss, and all around human being. I’ve treated you like a child, and you're not one. You’re an exceptional agent and I'm so proud and grateful to have you on my team. And the fact that i keep making your life probably miserable, yeah, ha, im so fucking sorry Y/N. It’s just that, I'm scared. Scared of truly accepting my feelings of you. After Haley, I just can’t risk it. And that means I cant have feelings for you.”

“So, I thought that if I treated you worse then I wouldn't feel for you, but I was wrong. You are an amazing, brilliant, gorgeous woman who I just can't not not. The way you act with Jack just, it just makes me wanna marry you! But I was too scared to tell you. And I regret that everyday. I guess what I am trying to say is that I love you and that I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through.”

Did your boss, Hotch, just say that he loves you. Were you dreaming, was this real? Did you love him back? Of course, I mean you've been pining over him since you came to the BAU, right. He stopped talking for a few seconds, but then he did something unspeakable. He kissed you. And it was in this moment, when you truly realized. You didn’t love Aaron Hotchner. You loved someone else. Have you ever even loved him? You didn’t know. Maybe, the only reason you liked him was because he, well, there was something about him. But we will never know, or at least for now that is.

You pulled away after realizing that you weren’t kissing back. He didn’t seem to notice that small detail. “Hotch, no I can't.” You mutter while looking at him. “What do you mean?” He says confused. “I mean, you can't waltz in here saying that you love me and you’re sorry for the way you treated me and expect everything to be fine. Everything you did, everything you said, all those time and days, yeah they hurt. And you just can't say those 3 words and expect everything to be okay!” You hadn't realized it, but his hands weren't on you anymore, instead they were slowly retracting from you.

“That’s not how this works okay, you really hurt me. And I loved you. If you told me that you had any interest in me in a non-planonical way. I would have said yes. But instead you chose to hurt me and I can’t really forgive you for that.”

“Y/N I… I understand, I'm sorry. I truly am, I hope you can forgive me.” He says while in shock.

“I hope I can too Hotch.” And then suddenly you were out the door. Running down the stairs as if your life depended on it. “Where are you going!” Hotch yelled from the door of the briefing room. “Somewhere over the rainbow!” You said while quickly grabbing your coat from your desk. You realized that she would most likely be getting in her car right now since she wasn't at her desk. So with that knowledge, you sprinted down the stairs since you thought it would be faster, it wasn't.

And look, there she was. Right by her car trying to find the key to unlock it. “Emily!” You yelled while running over to her as fast as your now jelly legs could carry you. “Emily, wait up!!” She heard you this time and looked up to see you running over to her. “Y/N, is everything okay?” She was cut off with a kiss. A soft, tender, sweet kiss, right on the lips. It wasn't too big, but it was big enough. You pulled apart when you realized she wasn't kissing back.

“Y/N I-”

“No, wait, let me. Emily it took me so long to finally understand. Understand that it was you along. You were always there for me when I needed you the most, and I was stupid for not telling you, or realizing. You’re the one who’s opinion I care about the most, not Hotch! You’re the one i wanna see first when i get hurt, not Hotch! You’re the one I wanna see every morning I wake up, not Hotch!! I wanna be with you Em. Because you make me happy like that. You make me wanna be a better person everyday and I need that in my life! I need you in my fucking life Emily! And so I love you! I love you! I fucking love you Emily!”

“Y/N I- what are you saying?”

“I'm saying that I love you! I love you so much! I love you the way Romeo loved Juliet and the way the sun loves the moon!”

“Y/N, I love you too. But not in that way. Um, I'm dating JJ.”

Your heart dropped. You couldn't breathe. All the air was still there, but you couldn't take any of it in without dying. Was this real. For how long? Was it really too late? Why would this happen? Was everything not enough? After everything you had been through, did you really need this. And why did it have to be this? Why couldn't you just be happy for once? Just once!

“Oh,” You say not sure what to say. “That’s um, that's great Em. I’m really happy for you.” And with that, you started heading to the building. “Y/N wait!” She yelled. You just turned around and smiled a half assed smile, but she didn't have to know that. She probably did. How could you have not known. I mean you were a profile for god sakes! That was your job! This is what you do and you can’t even figure shit like this out!

You walked with a moping look and the personality of a dead person. You kept your head down as you dragged your legs up into the BAU. Keeping your head down fearing from someone who might accidentally see your waterfall of tears. You made your way up into the only place where you knew you could go for a hug and comfort. Well, besides the batcave. Rossi’s office. The door was open so you made your way in and immediately shut it causing him to look up in fright.

“Y/N you scared me. Are you okay?” He said while getting up as a reaction of seeing your crying face.

“No Rossi, I'm not.” You say while snifiling. He sat you down on his couch and placed a blanket over you. “What happened my dolce colomba?” The tears started spilling again when you told him everything. You couldn't help but not to. It was impossible. “My sweet sweet child, this looks hard. This is hard. But I want you to always know that I am always gonna be here for you. No matter what. I love you. We all love you.”

“Rossi, what do I do?”

“You just live. Try and see the good in every moment. For instance right now, youre talking with me instead of working on some boring paperwork so think about that. Think about your brother and all the memories you shared. But for now, just live because before you know it all of this will be over and you'll wonder where everything went. So no matter how just live in the moment. Even if it's hard, do it.”

“Living is hard.”

“I know mia dolce colomba, I know. But we do it anyway, It is not like we have a choice. But just alway rember that I will always be here for you. So if you ever wanna go chasing cars, make sure to call me.”